


Love Me Like You Do

by SummerNightmares (BlackDog9314)



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Bottom Jensen Ackles, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Explicit Sexual Content, M/M, Oral Sex, References to Real Life Situations, Top Jared Padalecki, Using Sex to Solve Problems
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-17
Updated: 2019-11-17
Packaged: 2021-02-08 05:48:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21471058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackDog9314/pseuds/SummerNightmares
Summary: Jared’s doing that thing where he withdraws into himself, only present physically as he goes through the motions on auto-pilot. His smiles are a little bit vacant and overshot, his eyes far away as he makes reflexive conversation with the twenty-something who does his makeup and the overenthusiastic, smiling woman who brings him and Jensen coffee and breakfast danishes.When the life doesn’t return to Jared’s eyes by the end of the week and Jensen’s had to endure days on end of Jared holding him at arm’s length alongside everyone else, Jensen decides that it’s time for Jared to have some R&R whether he thinks he needs any or not.
Relationships: Jensen Ackles/Jared Padalecki
Comments: 27
Kudos: 138





	Love Me Like You Do

**Author's Note:**

> This fic both contains explicit sexual content and frames real, serious events in Jared's life in a romantic context from Jensen's perspective. If that's going to upset or bother you, I recommend skipping this fic. For everyone else, I hope so much that you enjoy this ficlet!

Jared’s doing that thing where he withdraws into himself, only present physically as he goes through the motions on auto-pilot. His smiles are a little bit vacant and overshot, his eyes far away as he makes reflexive conversation with the twenty-something who does his makeup and the overenthusiastic, smiling woman who brings him and Jensen coffee and breakfast danishes. He makes finger guns and points them at his favorite set dressers as he passes them the way he always does, and he takes an extra sandwich when they break for lunch and makes the caterers laugh like he’s known to do, but to Jensen it’s obvious that it’s an act.

It’s unsettling in the extreme to realize that no one on set’s apparently any the wiser to the fact that Jared’s phoning it in. Sure, Jensen catches sight of one or two people pulling Jared aside to ask how he’s ‘handling everything’, but they seem all-too willing to accept Jared’s quick, throwaway assurances that he only wishes he’d drank even _more_ or had someone film the whole thing rather than the disparate parts that have made it across social media.

When the life doesn’t return to Jared’s eyes by the end of the week and Jensen’s had to endure days on end of Jared holding him at arm’s length alongside everyone else, Jensen decides that it’s time for Jared to have some R&R whether he thinks he needs any or not.

*

It actually takes Jensen the better part of the following week to arrange everything with Genevieve and Danneel to ensure he and Jared have some time alone at the lake house when they head back to Texas (though they’ll be arriving almost a full day apart, unfortunately, despite Jensen’s efforts he wasn’t able to negotiate their filming schedule), and he thinks it says a frightening amount about the fog Jared’s in that by the time Jensen boards the first of two planes that will take him home he still hasn’t gotten so much as a text asking if he’s on his way.

Nonetheless, though, on Monday Jensen is finally pulling up outside the lake house at two in the afternoon and hoping nothing’s gone horribly awry and Jared is inside waiting for him. It feels surprisingly cold out when he parks in the long drive and grabs his bag out of the back seat; even though Jensen grew up in Texas he still forgets that it can get as cold as it sometimes does during the winter, it’s just so hot the rest of the year that the creeping chill inevitably ends up feeling like some sort of fluke. Beyond the house, Jensen can also see that the surface of the lake is grey and choppy, shimmering with what looks like ice in the pale sunlight. The sky above is a lifeless, leaden blue, and Jensen feels a pang of guilt at the thought of Jared being alone at the house under a sky so heavy.

When Jensen unlocks the front door and steps in out of the cold he almost immediately finds Jared lounging in the downstairs den. He’s wrapped up in a fluffy throw that only covers half of his body and stretched out reading on the sofa, looking uncannily like a giant nestled within piles of doll furniture. As Jensen sets his bag down and closes the door behind him Jared looks up in slightly wide-eyed surprise, as if somehow just noticing that Jensen’s materialized in front of him. Jared’s hair is disheveled and tucked messily behind his ears, and his shirt is carelessly unbuttoned halfway down his chest. Jensen feels something tighten beneath his ribs at how lost Jared looks as he takes in the sight of Jensen standing in the doorway.

“Hey, baby,” Jensen says.

He doesn’t mean for it to come out so softly, but it does.

Jared smiles tightly but doesn’t immediately respond, looking back down at the book in his lap instead of meeting Jensen’s eyes. He looks almost shy as he worries at the already-torn corner of the book with one hand and absently pulls at his blanket with the other.

Jensen already wants to break the silence and it’s only been a few seconds. He’s so unused to it where Jared’s concerned that it makes him feel almost unsteady on his feet. He’s used to Jared pushing other people away only on the condition that he pulls Jensen closer, and to feel the same, impersonal chasm yawning between them that he’s seen Jared push at their set workers all week makes Jensen ache.

He knows Jared’s going through a rough patch and that after everything is sorted out he’ll be back to sneaking kisses when they’re alone in the makeup trailer together and randomly texting Jensen incomprehensible strings of peach and eggplant emojis just to remind him that he still wants him, but the part of Jensen that’s forever twenty-two and convinced he’ll never be enough for anyone throbs with timeworn insecurities.

“What’re you reading?” Jensen asks as he takes a step toward Jared.

Jared gives another tight smile where he’s still looking down at his book, laughing quietly as if at some private joke. He still doesn’t answer.

Jensen makes his way over to the couch and carefully takes a seat next to Jared, reaching out and lifting the book from his lap to set it spine-up on the nearby coffee table. Jared gives another strained laugh as he takes the hint for what it is, at last lifting his head and meeting Jensen’s gaze.

“I’m, uh, almost finished with it,” he says quietly. His voice is somewhat hoarse. “Gonna have to watch the movie soon.”

Jensen looks curiously over at the book to read its title.

_The Witches of Eastwick_.

“That had Susan Sarandon in it, right?” Jensen asks as he moves a few inches closer to Jared on the couch.

Jared nods.

“Jack Nicholson’s in it, too, I think,” he supplies lamely.

“Well, we obviously have to watch it, then,” Jensen says. He’s looking closely at Jared but trying to act like he isn’t. He’s sure he’s not doing a good job.

Jared laughs again, this time much more quietly. He tilts his head a little to the side, his lips flattening out.

When Jensen wraps an arm around Jared’s shoulders he’s relieved to feel Jared sag into the touch almost instantly, as if he’s been waiting for Jensen to reach for him since the moment he came inside. In a few seconds Jared goes from rigid and distant to resting his head heavily on Jensen’s shoulder.

“I think you need to relax,” Jensen says.

“You have something in mind?” Jared asks, the words muffled into Jensen’s shirt.

“I _might_ have gotten some pot,” Jensen answers, pressing his lips to the top of Jared’s head. His hair is soft against Jensen’s mouth.

For a moment he’s worried Jared will turn him down. Jensen’s always been the one of them who’s more into pot than drinking, and it depends entirely on the mood Jared’s in as to whether or not he’ll join Jensen whenever he offers. But to his relief Jared nods, the motion of it something Jensen feels against his skin rather than sees.

“Good,” Jensen says, tugging Jared closer on the couch. “Good.”  
  


An hour and one fat joint later finds the two of them almost exactly where they were before they smoked, having only moved a minimal amount since; Jared has his head pillowed on Jensen’s lap and his long legs are stretched out, half-dangling off the sofa while his hands are laced loosely over his chest. Jensen turned on the heater before they lit up and they’ve both taken off their outer layers as the house has warmed. Now they’re just in jeans and undershirts.

The TV’s on and one of the many home decorating shows that Dee’s currently binging is playing on its large screen courtesy of the TiVo. Neither Jensen or Jared are paying particularly close attention to what’s actually going on, but they’re having fun making jokes at the show host’s expense. He’s a man with spiky blond hair that obviously been highlighted by a talented hairdresser, tight khaki pants, and bright blue eyes, and he’s touring the unfinished skeleton of what looks like it’s going to be a huge house, making remarks opaque with construction-jargon about what he wants to make of the half-formed building.

“I’d fuck him,” Jared remarks pragmatically. His almond-shaped eyes are red and half-lidded. “C’mon, look at those pants. He wants it.”

“He’s not your type,” Jensen scoffs, slapping half-heartedly at Jared‘s broad shoulder where it’s pressing a dent into his hip. Jared’s bare skin is so warm that Jensen finds he doesn’t want to move, though, and he leaves his hand there, dragging his fingers down the prominent tendons of Jared‘s arm.

“You only like getting fucked, _that’s_ why you wouldn’t fuck him,” Jared says languorously as he reaches a hand up to lay it over Jensen’s, the callused pads of his fingers tracing the knuckles and the fine bones under the skin. The touch, as light as it is, (along with Jared’s words) makes the hair rise on the back of Jensen’s neck.

Jensen’s doing his best to downplay how stoned he is for the sake of his own rapidly-evaporating pride, but _Jesus Christ_ is he high. He hasn’t smoked in what he suspects has been close to seven or eight months and he knows he probably had no tolerance to speak of when he rolled the joint for Jared and himself earlier.

Everything is beginning to take on that familiar feeling of hyper-reality and immediate sensuality that comes when Jensen smokes, and as the minutes tick by and he sits on the couch with Jared heavy between his legs, he starts to become aware of his body in a way he rarely is throughout his day-to-day life. The ache that’s been flaring up in the small of his back for the last year or two is nonexistent, he has goosebumps breaking out over the exposed skin of his shoulders, he can physically _feel_ the way the ribbed fabric of his shirt is stretching over his nipples, and the weight of Jared’s head on his lap feels like an anchor keeping Jensen’s limbs from coming apart at the seams and falling into a pile at the foot of the couch.

Jared is still touching Jensen’s hand, his thumb tracing circles over the dips between his knuckles, and something in the back of Jensen’s mind finally, finally begins to loosen and slow as he realizes that at last, he has Jared’s attention entirely to himself again.

The room is warm enough that Jensen can feel a sheen of sweat beginning to build on the surface of his skin, and when he shifts beneath Jared it’s to take his shirt off. He exhales lowly at the way the fabric feels coming off, tilting his head back and closing his eyes as he enjoys the rush of air that hits his naked chest.

“You high?” Jensen hears Jared ask. There’s something deliberate in his voice, something that makes Jensen both relax and brace himself. Jared knows how he feels, he always does when they smoke together. He’s had a habit of reading Jensen uncannily well since they first met almost fifteen years ago, and nothing gets past him, especially when they’re alone and their bodies are touching.

Jensen nods without opening his eyes, tightening the muscles of his belly and loosening them again as he shifts underneath Jared’s weight, feeling himself begin to harden in his boxers.

He doesn’t realize that his lips are parted until he feels Jared press a finger to the bow of his lower lip, dragging its fullness down to press it almost to his chin, opening him. Jensen’s eyes flutter but he still doesn’t open them, instead shaping his mouth around Jared’s finger and beginning to suck. He’s completely hard in his boxers almost instantly and feels a detached sort of surprise at himself. Apparently pot doesn’t affect him any differently at forty-one than it did at thirty-nine and forty.

From below him Jared makes a noise that Jensen can’t interpret, and he’s glad that his eyes are closed and he doesn’t have to see the amusement or impressed disgust on Jared’s face at the way Jensen’s taking his thumb into his mouth like it’s a cock. Jared presses his finger in deeper, though, skimming the surface of Jensen’s tongue, and he tilts his head back further, restlessly moving his hips under Jared’s head again without conscious effort.

“Baby,” Jared breathes. This time, Jensen knows exactly what he hears in his voice.

Jared pulls his thumb away, sitting up on the couch and cupping Jensen’s face in his hands, dragging a stripe of Jensen’s own saliva across his cheekbone as he does.

Jensen shudders and finally opens his eyes, looking up at Jared. His body feels like it’s slowly floating up toward the ceiling without Jared weighing him down. His mouth is still wet, and he can feel Jared’s breath on his lips.

Jared’s cheeks are flushed, his chest rising and falling rapidly as he admires whatever Jensen looks like in that moment. He must like what he see, because a second later he’s kissing Jensen, hard.

There’s no preemptive touches besides those hands on his face, and Jared wastes little time before he parts Jensen’s lips with his tongue, moving one of his hands down to cup Jensen’s throat and press his thumb to the hollow between his collarbones while the other reaches for Jensen’s belt buckle.

At the frantic dominance of the kiss Jensen is suddenly reminded of how he and Jared had been when they’d first met, back when every moment alone had felt stolen and feverish and every fuck had been a strange, incomparable combination of tender and desperate. It’s been years and things have mellowed considerably, but Jensen still remembers how Jared used to lock the door behind them and kiss Jensen hard against its surface, or when Jared had fucked him for the very first time in a hotel room and he’d had to cover his mouth to keep from making a sound he had never heard himself make before. This kiss feels almost like that, like they have an hour before they have to leave and pretend they arrived somewhere separately and the things they do in the dark are still a secret to be kept.

Jared is kissing Jensen hard, pushing him down onto the sofa where the blanket is still laid out beneath them. The ridiculous renovation show has skipped to a new episode across the room and Jensen can hear the blonde man talking about a breakfast nook while Jared arranges him on his back and unzips his jeans. Jensen’s body moves pliantly, the joints of his limbs feeling smooth and round like a doll’s as he lifts his hands and touches the soft, temporarily-sensitive skin of his chest while Jared moves to kneel between his legs. Jensen feels a thrill as shameful as the one he felt when he sucked Jared’s thumb go through him as he touches his nipples and feels them harden, exhaling audibly as he twists the points between his fingers and feels his dick throb. Jared drops a hot kiss on the skin below Jensen’s ear before he straightens up to take the rest of Jensen’s clothes off.

Once Jensen is naked, his pants and boxers thrown carelessly over the side of the couch, Jared reaches out and wraps both hands around Jensen’s waist. The span of his fingers is long enough that they almost frame Jensen’s ribs like a corset. It’s a familiar gesture, one Jared’s been doing for years when he sees Jensen naked, as if he always has to stop and admire how small Jensen looks beneath his hands, as if he doesn’t quite know how his body fits inside of Jensen’s.

“Like what you see?” Jensen asks even though he already knows the answer.

He brings his hands down from his chest to cover Jared’s where they’re still wrapped around his waist, loving the way his fingers end almost an inch before Jared’s, loving how Jared makes him look delicate. Jensen’s legs are parted around Jared’s narrow hips on the couch, and the denim of the jeans he’s still wearing feels rough against Jensen’s thighs as he moves.

“Always,” Jared says. He bows his head to kiss Jensen again as he reaches a hand down between Jensen’s legs, running his fingers through the thatch of dark blonde hair there. Jensen shudders, opening his mouth to Jared’s as he spreads his legs even further, moving his hips up into Jared’s hand and breathing out shakily as his cock is cupped in those long fingers.

When Jared unexpectedly draws Jensen’s bottom lip between his teeth he gasps softly in surprise but doesn’t turn away, letting Jared linger there.

“Good boy,” Jared whispers into Jensen’s mouth after he’s soothed the swollen skin of his lips with the pad of his thumb and another, much more brief kiss. Jared lowers his head to kiss and suck at Jensen’s throat, then, slipping his thumb back into Jensen’s mouth. He also moves his other hand away from Jensen’s waist to grab a generous handful of his ass and spread him.

Jensen closes his eyes as Jared moves from his neck to his chest, taking a nipple into his mouth. Jensen sucks harder at Jared’s finger without noticing, wanting Jared to bite him again, to hurt him a little. Taking the hint, Jared bites his nipple hard enough to make the skin throb between his teeth. Jensen arches his back.

When Jared wraps his fingers fully around Jensen’s cock a minute or so later and begins to stroke him it takes him almost completely by surprise, and he moans around Jared’s finger as he jerks beneath him.

“Shh,” Jared says softly as he presses his finger even further into Jensen’s mouth. Jensen feels moisture gathering in the corners of his eyes as he struggles not to gag, but he obediently quiets. He feels his cock begin to drip pre-come as Jared continues to stroke him. He doesn’t do so quickly, just steadily, keeping everything as it is for a few minutes that seem to stretch into something much longer than that. Still high and floating in a haze of sensation, Jensen begins to lose track of time.

It’s feels like it’s been forever since he and Jared had time like this together, something this slow and deep. Usually birthdays and holidays are when they take this sort of time; having families and such busy schedules often makes everything in their lives feel as if it’s moving at warp speed.

Jensen feels a strange, misplaced stab of guilt over the fact that he can’t remember when the last time they did this was. When had he last made them take some time away from not just work, but from everyone else? When had he last taken the time to really _look_ at Jared and see him as more than a long-solidified support apparatus since the twins were born and everything in Jensen’s life had revved up twice as fast and half as easy?

Before Jensen can fall any farther down the rabbit hole of his thoughts, though, Jared tightens his hand on his cock, swiping a finger over the wet tip of him.

“Missed you,” Jensen sighs around Jared’s thumb before he can stop the words, already feeling sex-drunk when he hasn’t even touched Jared back yet.

“Hmm?” Jared asks.

Jensen remembers he isn’t supposed to be talking and shakes his head, groaning when Jared suddenly begins to stroke him faster, as if he can pull the answer from him that way. Jared lifts his head from Jensen’s chest, pulling his finger out of Jensen’s mouth.

“Tell me,” he says.

It doesn’t sound like the command Jensen thinks he wants it to be.

“I missed you,” Jensen admits, gasping brokenly when Jared twists his hand. “Miss—miss you all the time.”

Jared’s face softens for a moment, but he doesn’t respond the way Jensen expects him to.

Instead, he sits back on his heels between Jensen’s legs and hefts Jensen’s cock in his hand, as if reacquainting himself with it. For a second time he pulls his fingers through Jensen’s pubic hair, lowering his face to press a kiss to the knob of Jensen’s hip, then to the soft flesh just below Jensen’s navel. His breath is warm and damp on Jensen’s skin.

Jensen turns his face to the side, pressing it into the arm that he’s thrown up beside his head to brace himself against the couch.

“Please,” he says. “Please.” He isn’t sure he’s asking for anything specific, but he knows he’s asking for _something_. He’s wound so tight that he can feel his dick throbbing in time with his heart.

When Jared apparently decides that there’s been enough foreplay and finally, _finally_ takes the tip of Jensen’s cock into his mouth, Jensen’s legs begin to tremble where they’re still wrapped around Jared’s body. He reaches out a hand and grasps Jared’s shoulder, attempting to anchor himself there as Jared begins to bob his head, each time taking a little more of Jensen into his mouth.

“Fuck,” Jensen says, even the single word not completely formed.

When Jared reaches the base of Jensen’s dick it’s with a deep, wet sound that’s filthy in the sleepy quiet of the room, and he starts to suck Jensen off with enthusiasm, moving his head even further down to get as much of Jensen’s cock in his mouth as he can.

Jensen can feel himself making contact with Jared’s soft palate, and he hears Jared breathing wetly, shakily, as he tries to relax his throat. With each attempt Jensen feels himself sink a little deeper. When he chances a look down at where he’s disappearing into Jared’s mouth he realizes that he can see the muscles of Jared’s throat quivering under his skin as he moves, and he almost can’t believe how erotic the sight of it is.

“So good,” Jensen manages to say with still more difficulty.

Apropos of nothing, Jared slips both of his hands under Jensen’s body and lifts his thighs up off the couch as if he doesn’t weigh a thing, draping Jensen’s legs over his shoulders. Disoriented by the unexpected change in position and the fact that he’s now totally, helplessly spread open in front of Jared’s mouth, Jensen clumsily rearranges his hand-hold from Jared’s shoulder to the back of the couch again. He lets out a choked whimper when Jared grabs one of his outer thighs to keep him from moving and resumes going down on him, sucking Jensen’s dick with renewed fervor as his other hand begins to tease at the furl between Jensen’s legs.

Jensen can’t seem to word any of his current thoughts coherently enough to grace Jared with them, and he doesn’t realize that he’s moaning loudly, brokenly, into his arm until he hears Jared murmur, “Love the way you fucking sound when I suck you,” against his inner thigh as he briefly pulls off of Jensen’s dick to plunge one of his own fingers into his mouth.

Jared is the only man Jensen has ever had inside him. He’s had girlfriends use toys on him and he’s fingered himself, but before he met Jared he’d told himself that he was never going to go there with a man even though the toys had felt good enough to make him briefly consider the possibility. Jared has always been Jensen’s exception, though, and from the first time Jared had opened Jensen up and fucked him to every time after that, it’s never stopped being good.

Jensen and Jared sigh in unison as Jared presses his wet middle finger to Jensen’s hole, slowly beginning to work it inside of him. Jared doesn’t take Jensen fully into his mouth as he opens him, but he still laves kitten licks over the head and leaking slit of Jensen’s cock while fucking his finger further and further into him.

Twice, Jared pulls out to re-wet his finger and rub more saliva over Jensen’s hole, wetting Jensen with it until he can feel himself dripping like a girl. Both times, Jared doesn’t immediately push his finger back inside, instead tracing the shape of Jensen’s rim until Jensen can feel himself fluttering needily under Jared’s finger, flexing the muscles in his ass in an attempt to pull any part of Jared inside him.

“You wouldn’t fuck me if I begged, you love it too much,” Jared whispers as he thrusts his whole finger inside of Jensen without warning, the length of it going in easy and wet.

Jensen gasps and bites into his arm, feeling his legs start to tremble again as Jared seals his lips over the head of Jensen’s cock, sucking at him in time with the way he’s crooking his finger inside Jensen’s ass.

There’s no lube nearby, but Jensen doesn’t know if that’s going to be enough to get him to wait until Jared can go and get some from the upstairs bedroom. Maybe it’s how worried he’s been over the last week or how stoned he still is, but Jensen feels desperate.

“Fuck me,” he gasps as he tries to spread his legs further, wanting to feel Jared inside him. “Now. Please. Just—just fuck me.”

Jensen says the words without conscious thought as his desire grows and begins to reach a fever-pitch, not actually expecting Jared to give him what he wants after he’s spent the last twenty minutes deliberately driving Jensen up the wall. But he realizes that his begging must have struck a nerve when he feels the warmth and pressure of Jared’s mouth on his dick suddenly disappear as the finger inside him is also withdrawn.

Jensen makes a noise of protest that Jared ignores, and, as he was the first time Jared moved him without warning, Jensen is all at once dazed and holding onto the couch with one arm and flailing for balance with the other as Jared slides Jensen’s hips down off of his shoulders and back onto the flat surface of the sofa. 

Jensen can hear the sound of Jared’s long, slow breaths as he slips off the edge of the sofa, and he lifts his head with difficulty, feeling as if he’s moving in syrup as he watches Jared pull his shirt over his head and step out of his jeans and boxers.

Jensen almost sighs with relief when at last Jared is as naked as he is.

“Please,” he breathes as he looks Jared up and down with what feels like relief, eagerly drinking in the sight of him as he stands there. The trail of dark hair that runs down the middle of his torso, the shadows that gather under his collarbones, the heaviness of the cock hanging between his legs, every inconsequential detail that should be familiar to Jensen feels somehow new.

“I need you. Please,” he says, the words about far more than sex.

Before he can beg again, Jared climbs back onto the sofa and takes his place between Jensen’s legs. His knees press against the inside of Jensen’s thighs as he reaches out and drags his fingers from Jensen’s swollen, tender nipples down to his hips.

Jensen writhes under the touch, closing his eyes and letting his head fall back again.

“You want it right here, baby?” Jared asks as he spits in his hand, pressing the first joint of his thumb into Jensen’s hole where it’s still wet and open. Jensen can hear Jared stroking his own cock with his other hand, the rhythmic _slap_ of it making him open and close around Jared’s finger again.

“Put it in me,” Jensen says, feeling his face heat. “Please.”

He gasps as his thighs are pulled far enough apart that they hang off the edges of the sofa cushions and he feels Jared spread him open with his fingers. Then, only a few merciful seconds later, Jared’s cock is pushing inside of him.

It burns even though Jensen’s ass is dripping wet, but that only makes him want it more.

Jensen slips his hands down underneath his body, laying his fingers alongside Jared’s where they’re still holding him open, wanting to feel the huge heft of Jared parting him, wanting to feel his cock soaked with spit and sweat as it drives into Jensen’s body like it was meant to be there.

Jensen lets out a long breath, incomprehensibly relieved to finally be stretched around Jared’s body.

“Jared,” he moans as Jared pulls out and begins to sink back in. He can barely feel his legs but he knows they’re trembling harder than ever, the muscles of his thighs and calves contracting as sparks appear behind his closed eyelids.

“F—f—fuck,” Jensen stutters, the word broken every time Jared thrusts inside.

“That’s it, take it,” Jared whispers.

Jensen tries to open his ass and let Jared take what he wants, going all but limp underneath Jared’s body as he feels part of him give way, feels Jared slip even further inside him, feels his hole stretch even wider. He lets himself melt into Jared and the bruising grip he’s still got on Jensen’s hips and ass as he’s fucked and fucked _well_.

“Please,” Jensen breathes.

He’s got Jared’s air in his lungs and his blood in his mouth.

When they come, it’s at almost exactly the same time.

Jensen has a difficult time tracking who comes first, and his orgasm is intense enough that he feels vaguely as if he’s about to pass out, feeling his whole body start to shake as the last of his release spurts onto his heaving stomach.

When Jared pulls out of Jensen a few minutes later, he leaves a trail of come seeping out of his ass that begins to drip down onto the expensive throw beneath. Jared has an almost guilty expression on his face as he looks down at the aftermath of their fuck where it’s still visible on Jensen’s bruised, swollen body, pressing a gentle hand between Jensen’s legs as if to soothe the inflamed skin there.

Jensen can tell he’s about to get up with the excuse that he needs to grab a towel or a warm wash cloth, and he knows somehow that if he lets Jared do so that the distance will reappear between them as if it never left. Jared will start rebuilding the same wall he’s had up for the last week and Jensen doesn’t think he can bear to feel it again, not now, not after he so thoroughly took himself apart to get Jared to _see_ him.

“C’mere,” Jensen says, his voice a rasp.

Jared hesitates, and Jensen’s heart feels like it might stop.

“Please,” he whispers, looking up at Jared as he holds one arm out toward him.

Jared comes when he’s asked a second time, allowing Jensen to pull him down so that his head is pillowed on Jensen’s chest. Jensen holds Jared as tightly as he can as they lie there, wishing he could convey with the simple touch all that he feels, all that he wants.

Jared presses his cheek against Jensen’s heart as he breathes out slowly, spreading his hand over Jensen’s side.

“I’m sorry,” Jared says quietly.

“You know I don’t care, right?” Jensen says in response, taking Jared’s hand in his. “Look, I know it was a mistake, baby. I’m just…I’m worried about you.”

“I don’t know _why_ I did it,” Jared says haltingly. “I…I messed up.”

“I know you feel bad. I can tell because whenever you feel bad you push me away. But you can’t do that to me. I can’t help you if you do, and I can’t handle how it makes me feel when you do,” Jensen says frankly.

Jared nods against Jensen’s chest. “I’m sorry,” he says again, this time the words little more than a breath.

“I love you. Always. I’ll never fucking stop. And we need to talk about everything soon, but…but not now.” Jensen says. He strokes the hair back from Jared’s forehead.

“Now, we need rest.”

Jared slowly relaxes against Jensen’s body, and soon, they’re both drifting somewhere between sleep and waking, still entwined together.

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave me a comment if you liked this story! They really mean the world to me and make me smile ❤️


End file.
